Snake bit by a chair

Remember Show’n Tell. In my third grade class, every Friday was Show’n Tell. This weekly
event allowed you to bring any item from home, stand in front of the class, and show and tell
about it. Some items that made their Show’n Tell debut: Dad’s army medals, my favorite die cast
metal airplane, my Six Million Dollar Man and GI Joe action figures, coins my grandparents
collected on their trip around the world, magic tricks, and so much more…like A SNAKE.

That’s right, a snake. I had informed Mrs. Webster that I would be bringing a snake for Friday’s
Show’n Tell. She said no you’re not. I said yes I am. She said no you’re not. I said yes I am. And
the line was drawn. Not backing down from a challenge, I was going to bring a snake.
Wait a minute…no I’m not. I hate snakes. I wasn’t about to touch one much less bring one to
Show’n Tell. But I wasn’t backing down from a challenge. Digging through my toy box, I found a
6 foot, black rubber snake. Yes! That would work!

Friday finally arrived and early that morning two classmates met me and the janitor at the school
front door. He opened the door, we entered, he locked the door and went back home! You gotta
love small town America! Three eighth grade boys roaming the school unsupervised. We
entered our third grade room and the greatest prank in school history was about to go down. I
pulled out Mrs. Webster’s chair and meticulously coiled the 6 foot, black rubber snake in her
chair. As my friends and I were looking at my masterpiece, one of them suggested that
someone hide under the desk, wait for Mrs. Webster to pull out the chair, and then make the
sound of a rattlesnake. You’re about to learn why I graduated fifth…out of eight!

I agreed to do it. It was a tight fit. And as my friends slowly pushed the chair under the desk, it
met me at my mouth. Everything was in place and kids began arriving for school. Finally, Mrs.
Webster entered the room and noticed everyone was there but me. When she asked where
Lyndy was, my friends said I was sick, while trying not to laugh. After the principal read
announcements and everyone recited the Pledge of Allegiance, these magic words were
uttered, “You may be seated.”

What happened next was poetry in motion. Mrs. Webster pulled out her chair, looked down at
the snake, and heard me make the rattlesnake sound. She screamed at the top of her lungs and
then did something we failed to plan for…she slammed the chair back under the desk. BAM!
You heard two screams that morning. As I made my way out from underneath the desk, blood
was gushing from my newly, snake-bite-from-a-chair lip. Lucky for me Mrs. Webster hugged me
and rushed me to the nurses office, even though I knew she wanted to “bust” another part of my
body.

Until next laugh,
Lyndy